The Bars of My Own Cage

"This insightful article delves into the nuanced journey of self-creation, challenging the traditional notion of finding a predestined identity. It explores the idea that our self-image and personality are not fixed entities waiting to be discovered, but dynamic constructs shaped by our daily experiences, choices, and social interactions. Drawing on theoretical perspectives, the article emphasizes the importance of individuality and the influence of societal perceptions in the process of self-discovery. It offers a compelling narrative on the fluidity of identity, urging readers to embrace their unique selves amidst external judgments and expectations. The piece is a resonant call to actively craft and celebrate one's evolving identity, rather than searching for a predefined one."

Engr. Ervin Goh

4/19/20194 min read

I don’t find nor search for myself, because I create it every single day that pass. I often hear people say “Throughout childhood you spend most of your time trying to find yourself.” They say this is the reason that childhood is so hard, but to that I disagree. To me, the idea of finding yourself is synonymous with a having a destiny. I believe that you spend your life creating yourself and your future, it is not found, and you are not born with specific purpose. There are no short cuts in doing that because creating and molding the person you want to be takes hard work. Naturally you are born with a certain amount of personality and talent through genetics, but success is created after you are born, not before. The search for real self is fiction; your personality is not waiting to be stumbled upon one day.

According to the perception of George Herbert Mead, he believed that people develop self-images through interactions with other people. He argued that the self, which is the part of a person’s personality consisting of self-awareness and self-image, is a product of social experience. However, in relation to his theory, who am I question jumped into my consciousness. Have I really answered the question I waste my whole life searching and finding for the right answer that will suite and make me contented on my journey in this world? Now, let me try to answer, who really am I? For me, as an eighteen years old college student, I might have an idea of that, but it isn’t something that all people already know. But, I often find myself wondering, if at eighteen, I have to know who am I. We really have to know for a fact who we are in this world, do you? Looking over what I know about myself, I have come to a simple truth: I am me. You’re probably thinking that it doesn’t take a wild journey of self-discovery to figure that out, but it is the truth. I am me. I’m not a very good athlete or a great artist. I’m not tall or handsome or brown-eyed. I am a simple Engineering student, I’m an average guy, I have an ordinary life compare to the stories we read or watch on a book or movie. Of course, it doesn’t take a genius to see this, the things on the outside like I have poor eyesight or my I have always a morning hair, but I’m me on the inside too. When it comes to my studies, I never knew I will end up here in Engineering in LSPU, but because of my family, peers and own decisions, I think destiny will lead me to a success I am heading to.

I don’t judge others and if I do, I quickly erase it to my mind because I know the feeling of being judged or accused of something I’m not. I am concern to the politics, especially to our history because I like things about Social Studies. I sometimes want to have solitude to reflect my behavior because I believe that being alone is different from being lonely, and being alone means you make time for yourself and reflect on the behavior I made every moment. I tend to overthink, which can hurt or help me depending, I’m sometimes obsessive compulsive, and I’m sometimes insecure. This is me. I’d like to say that I’m self-aware, but the things that I know about myself are not the only things that make me who I am. I’m the writer of my story, me and my life are like a novel, and I’m not even a quarter through.

I am not who I think I am, I am not who you think I am, because I am who I think you think I am. It means a person's overall personality is developed by the self's interactions with the society. The overall perception of ours and others will decide our personality. This is from his looking glass self-theory. The human personality, over all development is directly related to your learning process from other people's perception. The other part is my overall character; personality is shaped, developed by my perception of what others think of me, with whom I am interacting. I adopt finer points of their impressions. Sometimes over the course of life my story gets intertwined with someone else’s. Even as an eighteen years old this has happened to me countless times. Every time I meet someone they become a part of my story and I become a part of theirs. It’s not always about finding that one best friend, a lot of times it’s about finding a person or a couple of people that I know will be there, in my life, for more than just a page. It’s important, though, to find a person who lets you be you. You are who you are and through my experiences so far I know that if someone doesn’t let me be me then they aren’t worth even a sentence in the novel of my life. I am who I am, but sometimes I always want to please others just so I can fit on and walk to my journey without them judging me, I am who I am, but sometimes I thank others for molding the better version of me, and I am who I am, and the expectations of others were the bars I used for my own cage.